Harris's List of Covent-Garden Ladies for the year 1788
Miss Kilpen
Miss K—lp—n.
Those formal lovers be for ever curst,
Who fetter'd free-born love with honour first;
Who through fantastic laws, are virtue's fools,
And against nature, will be slaves to rules.
We cannot pretend to say where this curious oddity lives, that being a circumstance she carefully conceals; and what is more extraordinary, she never can be prevailed on to go into taverns or other houses with a gentleman. To what purpose then (some reader may say) is she inserted here, if she will not go into a house to dispense her favors, nor is it known where she is to be found?
A little patience, good sir, and you will be informed where she is to be found, and how to procure her favours. If you walk on the right hand side of the way, from the corner of Cheapside along St. Paul's Church-Yard, and thence to the bottom of Ludgate-Hill, just after sunset, and meet with a beautiful woman about twenty, tall and finely shaped, with fine black eyes, and hair of the same hue, that floats in curls down her back, and worn without powder, and a bewitching dimple in each cheek, you may give a shrewd guess you have found Miss K—lp—n. Her dress is in general silk, sometimes a pale blue, but oftener a black, and a large white sattin cloak, trimmed and lined with rich brown fur; her head is in general bedecked with a blue beaver, with a profusion of white feathers; and if on accosting her, you are as much dazzled with her wit, her smart repartees, and her delicate agreeable raillery, as with her person and dress, you may be then absolutely certain it is the lady.——But you may say, when found, of what service is it, when she will neither take you home with her, nor go into any house With you? A little more patience, sir, if you plase, though she refuses to go into any house with you, are there not hackney coaches on every stand? we have not said she will deny entering one of them with you; that is if she likes your person and conversation. And here let us add, no frothy coxcomb, no male adonis, conceited of his own dear person, no shoe stringed effeminate puppy, no insipid empty chatterer, can hope to succeed with her.
If, reader, thou art neither of these, and should meet with, and please Miss K—p—n, she will take as length'ned a ride with you as you please; and if you have the prudence to draw up the blinds, she Will be as free as you please, and you may enjoy her charms, Jehu like, as long as you can. She is framed for love, and will melt like a snow ball in the sun. She will embrace you with unfeigned rapture, open all her charms to receive your manly tribute, and perhaps appoint another meeting.
We have rather enlarged on this lady, on account of the singularity of her disposition; and what will add to your wonder is, that she never will receive any money, but take the offer as an affront. These circumstances make us conclude that K—lp—n, the name she has assumed sometimes, is not her real name, and that she is not a woman of the town, but some married city lady, who takes this method of getting home deficiencies supplied abroad, and, as she is cautious of her character, uses these precautions. By not going to any house, she avoids detection; by chusing none but those whose conversation is congenial to her own, she obliges none but men of sense and honour; and by he constantly refusing money, she demonstrates that love for love is her motto; that her love of the sport is her motive; perhaps she may have another reason for chusing a leathern conveniency as the scene of her delights. We have been told that the undulating motion of the coach, with the pretty little occasional jolts, contribute greatly to enhance the pleasure of the critical moment, if all matters are rightly placed. This she may have experienced, and therefore as pleasure is her search, no wonder she prefers every delicate addition to the gross sum.